I want to warn those who are weak in faith right now that there are evil men on the internet twisting the Gospel for their own purposes. The Bible warns us that there will be wolves disguising themselves as sheep. The Apostle Paul warns us in 2 Timothy 3 that these are perilous times, and that men will be lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God. That evil men and seducers will wax worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived.
One such blogger I have found goes by the name of Biblical Gender Roles, and hides himself like a coward behind anonymity. He indicates that he belongs to a Baptist church (with his second wife). It seems EXTREMELY strange to me that any Baptist church would condone the things he describes. And no doubt to me that it is fundamentalist in nature, i.e., that they ascribe to a strict patriarchial view of Christian society that is very damaging to the health and spirituality of the family.
This man has some very disturbing beliefs about not only women, but about what is righteous. I am not sure at all how he reconciles these disturbing beliefs with Jesus Christ. First, I’d like to say that Jesus is holy and righteous. We are to follow His example in holiness and righteousness. The things that this man advocates are based deeply in error, and are of darkness and not of light. He has had his heart darkened with vain imaginations (Romans 1:21). After reading some of his very disturbing posts, I wonder at his hermeneutic style. He seems to take verses willy-nilly and applies them to his theology to make them seem plausible.
Most of his postings involve the place of women and are mysognynistic, and sexual in nature. Now, sexual intimacy is an important part of marriage. It is one of the most beautiful things that God has given to a husband and wife. But he takes it and turns it from love into eroticism. BGR, as he is known, claims that women are a second-class citizen in God’s kingdom, that women are not created in the image of God, that we are here primarily for man’s pleasure, and seems overall to imply that whatever a man does is right. Although not quite the hateful level of the alt-right masculine dominance cult, BGR’s position is more dangerous BECAUSE he claims to be a Christian who can tell you how to have a good marriage.
I believe absolutely in biblical marriage and the gender roles that God has designed for men and women. I believe absolutely that a woman is to submit to her husband and be obedient to him. I believe the woman was made for the man TO BE HIS HELPMEET and his companion. God specifies helpmeet as his purpose, which means aid, helper. And yes, God made the woman to help the man multiply and replenish the earth.
But BGR would have men see their wives as sexual objects, to not care whether their emotional needs are met in love, to suffer abusive situations, to not have any demands on their husbands love and attention. Essentially, it’s ok if your husband looks at other women with lust in his heart, which is totally against what Jesus said.
God never intended that women should be objectified by their spouses, but to be a prize. If you read Ephesians 5, it shows clearly that a godly wife is THE GREATEST GIFT a man can give to himself. Do you think Jesus would advocate then for men to look at their wife as a sexual object? Proverbs tells us whosoever finds a wife finds a good thing—not that the wife is a thing. The words good thing is tov, meaning a benefit.
If one looks at the behavior of the Patriarchs toward their wives, they loved them, and not as playthings. BGR makes much of the Song of Solomon as an ode to erotic love. What’s interesting here is that the word eros or no variation of it is found in the Greek Old Testament, the Septuagint. Rather, the primary word for love used in SoS in the Septuagint is agape, the noblest form of love there is. It is the love that God has for His people, the love expressed in Ephesians 5 as a command for men to love their wives, the sacrificial, unconditional love that Jesus expressed when HE GAVE HIMSELF FOR HIS BRIDE.
God placed woman under the PROTECTION of men, to be lead by them in holiness, to be taught so that they are not deceived, to be held in esteem and loved. He did not intend that they should be treated non-chalantly by their husbands, and that their husbands should continually wound them by looking at other women, or not even attempt to return the soulful love and affection that the bride shows for Solomon in SoS. No, BGR feels that men’s emotions are different and that is an excuse for using their wives.
While all these things are disturbing, the most disturbing thing I found was his belief that God has no problem with men looking at pornography. He justifies it by the supposed benefit it brings to society. First, as Christians, we are to do what is right in God’s eyes, not in man’s eyes. It does not matter what man perceives to be right for society. It matters what God thinks. We are to have the mind of Christ, bringing every thought into captivity to Him. A man is to elevate his thinking to righteous things and cast down imaginations. If he is indulging in porn use, he must know that is contrary to godly living, that is filthiness of spirit, and that he needs to crucify it.
BGR believes that a ministry of married people creating pornographic sex for use as sex education is permissible by God. This is utterly disgusting and contrary to righteous living. The verses he uses to condone pornography are taken totally out of context, which is his modus operandi. He is not biblically sound, he is grounded in the rudiments of the world and carnality and anyone who follows him is going into a ditch.